Another rough draft - am not quite sure this one captures what I'm going for. I think it's obvious what it's about, but what I'm wondering is if it adds anything new, or just rehashes what we already know in a tired way. Still not certain I'm happy with it. I'm also trying to work my way away from punctuation, and am still a bit uncomfortable without my commas and periods.
Edit: Poem removed due to pending publication
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